Snape's Revenge
by Rowna Seria
Summary: Snape has concocted a potion with some rather unusual side effects, now... who to test it on? Or rather, who to test in on that would indirectly upset his latest aggressor. Now wouldn't that be just lovley.SR later. Hmm, I swore, guess I'll up the rate'n
1. Introuduction

A/N: This was done quickly with little revision, so, sorry if it's a bit awkward. It's basically based of an idea I had which a proceeded to draw a picture of. So here it is:  
  
Snape's Revenge  
  
Introduction  
  
There comes a time in everyone's life when something rather unexpected happens. Some thing out of the ordinary, some freak accident, or some rather annoying friends who's antics get one to many people on their bad side. Perhaps it just had to do with the strange incomprehensible nature of their hate, the intensity of there feelings. There's always some sort of catalyst that causes a persons other side to show through. For two of my greatest friends, that being was Severus Snape.  
  
Maybe I'll never understand why James hated him so much as to torture him. Maybe Severus just insulted James's sense of Right, or Justice so deeply that it was unforgivable, maybe it was just the fact that he simply didn't like the other boy.  
  
But I do know, so far as to come from his lips, why Sirius hated Severus so. Snape represented all of Sirius secret fears, the feeling inside of himself that maybe he was like Snape, deep down inside. Just another pure blood so mired in the Dark Arts that there was no hope of escape. Snape was all of Sirius's inner demons brought to life, in a separate being, and Sirius treated said being with the same single minded hatred with which he hated himself.  
  
That, at least, is how I ended up interpreting the situation.  
  
Strong feelings inevitably breed confrontation, unfortunately those who receive the brunt of such feelings often weren't directly involved in the first place, though they may be indirectly involved in causing problems.  
  
My opinion of myself is such that if I am partly to blame, it makes me no less guilty, though my friends may speak differently. My friends' actions, and my lack of counteraction, caused a certain incident to occur that rather amused most of the school, annoyed Sirius, and left me uncomfortable and prone to blush uncontrollably.  
  
The rather odd story contained within the next few chapters are excuse this sorry introduction; it's rather more serious than I indented. Perhaps it's just a facet of my personality.  
  
Perhaps I'm being a tad more serious than the situation actually warrants. 


	2. The Plain Beginning

The Plain Beginning  
  
Snape had been planning this for a while, ever since he'd discovered that particular potion with some rather. curious effects. He needed the perfect way to get back at them, to get back and hit them where it hurt. So far looking indignant had done nothing for his case. Damn the lot of them, they all had it in for him. Not even the prefect one did anything to stop them. He only turned his head away as if he were ashamed. Snape highly doubted the sincerity of the gesture, if that bastard Lupin really cared, he'd at least say something. But no, no one stood up for him, Snape was an ugly greasy Nothing no one cared about, and he thought of himself that way. It was all rather depressing, so he'd loose himself in the intricacies of the Dark Arts, deviling in magics better left untouched.  
  
That was simply how it was, and now he had the perfect idea for a fitting revenge. He'd watched the group for a while, trying to decide what the best way to approach the situation was, and in a fit of angst had ranted at himself about how sick it was that they were all so loyal towards each other. That's when the idea struck him: he could get at the ones they cared about! Using his potion on one of the main instigators would only turn it's effects into a big joke, but on someone else, now that was different.  
  
At first he'd wanted to target someone close to Potter, the main source of his wort humiliations. Black was bad, but blunter in his tactics, more raw in his cause. Potter, however, was something so unlike Snape himself that he had not even the smallest of grounds to base his assumptions on. Even so, the best target was the only one that spoke out against the duo in the middle of their abuses. Lily Evans was not someone Snape wanted to target. So he moved on to Black.  
  
Black proved, however, to be a harder nut to crack. Snape had watched for weeks trying to find a person to whom Black possessed a weakness of affection. The blackguard had so many girls bobbing around him it was mind boggling. But then one day it came to him, the idiot didn't have a female he cared about, but he sure was overly protective of Lupin.  
  
Yes. that was the answer, and it didn't even have to leave the group behind his suffering. Vengeance was sweeter when it was well planned, much sweeter.  
  
Now to put his plan into action. 


	3. An Amusing Morning Part 1

~I have just discovered that italics don't show up so, since I'm feeling lazy:  
  
-this- is for a word normally italicized for effect  
  
'this' is for thoughts  
  
-  
  
An Amusing Morning (Part 1)  
  
Sirius awoke to the sunlight streaming through the window and invading his dark sanctuary. "Argh, what the hell! It's too early."  
  
Sirius had meant for it to sound angry and annoyed, but mostly it just came out as sleep garbled gibberish.  
  
"Come now Padfoot, wakey wakey," came the voice behind a blaze of sunlight and a dark spot in the vague shape of a man.  
  
After squinting, tying to dercern his surroundings, Sirius rolled over and muttered to himself in which the words "Prongs" and "break" were the only discernable words.  
  
It was Monday and the fall morning was well on it's way outside the Gryffindor boy's dormitory. Sirius was of the opinion that no sane person got up before 11:00, but obviously the school begged to differ. The basic layout of the room was thus: The back of Sirius's bed was to the wall, and to his right was the door and to his left was where Remus slept; across from him lay James's sleeping apparatus, and Peter's bed was essentially kiddy corner to Sirius. Across from the door there was a window, and how the blasted light managed to reach all the way from there to Sirius's own bed was beyond him. until:  
  
"What the hell James, it's morning, put your bloody wand -out-." Sirius punctured his words with a glare at his friend and his glowing wand tip.  
  
"Wait Sirius, this is serious." James made a face at his awkward statement, and Sirius just glared at James with renewed disgust.  
  
"I mean," James started, tying to salvage what dignity he had left, "Something's up with Remus, he won't come out of his bed -and- he's enchanted it so we can't get in. I didn't know you could even do that" he added as an afterthought.  
  
"-I- couldn't" said Sirius, just to annoy his friend.  
  
After directing a well placed glare, James told Sirius indignantly, "You know what I meant, grammar freak."  
  
Sirius finally sat up and looked over to his friends bed, and as James had said, the curtains were still closed shut, but Remus usually was the first one up in the mornings.  
  
This was unusual behavior, except on days after the full moon, but it was a week until the next full moon and Remus should be brimming with energy. Sirius's concern for his friend got him up faster than any amount of poking or prodding would.  
  
"Remus. are you okay?" Sirius asked as he swung out of bed and made his way over to his friend's curtained hideout.  
  
There was no reply, and Sirius found that the curtains were hard and unbendable at touch, but still felt very much like curtains. 'Defiantly a stiffening charm, and a strong one to boot.'  
  
"C'mon Rem, it can't be -that- bad," it sounded a bit too much like pleading, even to Sirius's ears.  
  
No reply.  
  
"Remus, if, you know, you've-" James had that particular -tone- to his voice that meant he was talking about something that was a normally uncomfortable or inappropriate subject.  
  
"Good God James! I don't even want to know what your sick mind is thinking!" The muffled voice from the bed cut in before James could continue is stuttered inquiry; Sirius couldn't decide if Remus's voice sounded odd or if it was just the fact that the werewolf had several blankets over his head.  
  
"Oh, good Moony, I was starting to think you'd gone mute on us," said Sirius with what he thought was a witty comment.  
  
No one else seemed to agree.  
  
Sirius and James tried and tried to get their friend out of bed, but to no avail. Finally, even Peter gave it a shot, but Remus still refused to budge and remained shrouded in his scarlet shield.  
  
"All right," said James with that particular 'can do' tone of his, "it's time to move on to our last resort."  
  
"What flush him out with a fire spell?" asked Sirius, only half joking.  
  
Peter seemed to whimper a bit at that comment, as if -he- was the one who was going to be "flushed out" with fire.  
  
"-No-" cried James indignantly, "we must resort to the wiles of the Other gender."  
  
"What, you mean ask the girls for help?" asked Sirius bluntly, while James shot him another glare for ruining the mood.  
  
"Oh, not just the girls," said James, back to his mysterious tone of voice, "The girl, we're going to as The girl."  
  
Sirius just shook his head; one never could expect the lad to speak normally about Lily Evans, that was asking for a bit too much.  
  
-  
  
-  
  
A/N: Sorry about the cliff hanger, I just want to get something up so I'll be motivated to write more later. My thanks goes out to all of the reviewers, you guys make all the difference! Also, sorry if my tone switches between swift and sophisticated, I think that might have something to do with my rather tired state, I'm sleepy. ok, I'm going to sleep now. 


	4. An Amusing Morning Part 2

An Amusing Morning (Part 2)  
  
James and Sirius ran down the stairs, mostly because the exhilaration of running down stairs is exciting when someone *chough*Remus*cough* wasn't at the top speaking loudly on how he was planning to use one's things when one fell and cracked one's skull open. Well, maybe that was fun in its own way, but not having to playful grumble at the bottom was fun too. The other part was a bit of anxiety on Sirius's part, and if you asked him at the time why he was so anxious, he wouldn't have been able to tell you. That annoyed him, the seemingly random knot it is stomach.  
  
At the bottom of the stairs James and Sirius suddenly stopped and began scanning the room for the exulted Lily Evans. They looked rather like a pair of police searching a busy room for a fleeing suspect, but as half the room didn't know what police were, and a quarter were convinced they were call "please-men", most people wrote it down James' and Sirius's usual antics.  
  
James, unfortunately, was the first to spot Lily, "Hey! Lily!" James called across the common room.  
  
Lily didn't even let him start, "James Potter, mind your own Business, and no, I won't go out with you, so stop asking."  
  
"But..."  
  
"Zipt," and along with that rather amusing not-word, Lily made a little hand motion which James took as a hint to shut up.  
  
And no subtle hint would have worked with James.  
  
"Lills--" tired Sirius, but Lily just sent him and acid glare, and turned back to her friends.  
  
Sirius wasn't going to be ignored, "Lily, it's Remus."  
  
That comment caused her to turn around and look at Sirius critically (she had no faith in James being honest about. well, anything, in her eyes) and said, "your kidding, right?"  
  
Lily didn't get and answer, but she didn't need one, she'd heard the difference in Sirius's voice. They stared at each other for a moment before Lily said "Show me."  
  
-  
  
After Remus had become a prefect, and Lily one as well, they had actually taken time to talk to one another and find out what the other was really like. Lily's opinion of Remus rose highly after she found him to be intelligent and hardly as egotistical as his friends. There was one point they disagreed on, Remus's choice of friends.  
  
Back up in the dormitory Lily Evans walked over to the still enshrined Remus.  
  
"Remus? The boy's were so worried they came crying to me."  
  
"We did not!" cried Sirius indignantly.  
  
Lily ignored the comment and leaned in closer as if to hear a whispered message from the other side of the curtain.  
  
"All right boys, out!" commanded Lily in all her redheaded fierceness.  
  
In their curiosity Sirius, James and Peter had all slowly inched closer, and they got Lily's shout right in their faces. The effect of her command was immediate, the boys scampered out, cowed by receiving a Lily Order right in the face.  
  
As soon as they got out the door, Lily locked it, and the boys were sorry to find that none of them had their wands, and they couldn't bust the door down. Sirius and James decided the next best option was leaning against the door and trying to hear what was being said. Peter stood on the side and watched.  
  
"Hmm, they're mumbling too much, I can't hear them," said Sirius.  
  
"No wait, Lily said Remus," said James.  
  
"Well, that's bloody helpful isn't it!"  
  
"Shh, Shhh, they're talking louder."  
  
". did she just say we're the same size?"  
  
"Oh, I think she accio-ed something in."  
  
"Shhhhhh!"  
  
"How'd she get it in if not through the door?"  
  
"Through the bloody window! Now shut up!"  
  
"Hm. I wonder. blast, they're talking quietly again."  
  
"Now what's that about a sash?"  
  
"Well. maybe-"  
  
Peter cut in at that point, "James I do -not- want to hear what your sick mind has cooked up!"  
  
James looked a little put out by the comment, after all, his worshipful follower had just insulted him, but he mutter and, "Okay Pete."  
  
Soon afterward Lily opened the door, and Sirius, who had still been leaning against it, had to quickly catch himself before he fell atop Lily.  
  
"Okay, one thing before I let you pass, absolutely -no laughing-," said Lily in her sternest voice.  
  
The three boys nodded solemnly, or, in Sirius's case, semi solemnly, and were allowed to enter.  
  
But when they saw Remus, James couldn't help but start laughing; Peter looked shocked and maybe a bit confused.  
  
It was Sirius's, however, who spoke first, "Remus! You look like a -girl-!"  
  
-  
  
-  
  
-  
  
-  
  
A/N: sorry about another cliff hanger, I couldn't help myself! I've been writing another rather depressing fic, and I've been working off and on on this one. If you don't know what Lily retrieved from her room, you don't need to know. Hopefully I'll get up the will to write the next chapter (encouragement would be nice) if anyone wants to read beta, that'd be nice. Sayla! Have a good evening.  
  
Er. Sayla is a made up word, if it means anything, feel free to tell me. 


	5. The Journey to the Infirmary

The Journey to the Infirmary

Sirius Black contemplated the options which lay before him: looked shocked, but say nothing; looked shocked, but yell incoherently; look angry, and yell coherently... well, maybe he didn't really think about it. Being the impulsive lad he was, Sirius strode up to Remus, took the other boy by his shoulders, looked him up and down, and made the statement, "You really _are_ a girl! But, you weren't one yesterday..."

"No, Sirius, I wasn't," replied Remus blandly; his voice was slightly higher pitched, but not by much.

"Wow, what brilliant deductive reasoning you have, Padfoot," was James' sarcastic reply.

Sirius, who wasn't listening, whipped around and declared, "Who ever did this is going to rue they day they were born!" and he then proceeded to stomp out of the room, in high drama.

"Sirius wait!" called James while he grabbed his friend and held him back, "lets think about this logically."

"Wow, Potter thinking logically, I'm stunned," stated lily sardonically.

Ignoring the cynical comment James continued with a statement, "Lets not make a scene, we ought to get Remus to the infirmary."

"Really, I thought we should parade him about the great hall, "Lily muttered under her breath with a hint of contempt aimed a James.

"We need to act like nothing's wrong…" James glanced at Sirius then continued, "Pete and I will go down to the great hall, Sirius, you can take Remus to the infirmary."

It probably wouldn't have worked any other way.

After James and Peter left, Lily turned to Remus and said, "If any of the boys give you a hard time, come tell me and I'll beat the shit out of them," that said, she spun on her heals and left the dorm.

While standing about awkwardly for a few moments after she left, Sirius kept glancing at Remus and then looking away. "So… shall we go then…?" Sirius asked with obvious uncertainty. "Ya," answered Remus softly.

They walked down the corridors carefully avoid the other students, Remus keeping very close to his friends side and back, trying to shield himself with Sirius's greater height. It was almost like the times when they'd snuck around after a successful completion of a prank, or after setting one up. Except… this time there would be no triumph at the end of the journey.

Sirius was glad when they finally reached the infirmary stairway, if anyone had spotted Remus and made fun of him… well, they had better be glad they hadn't.

"Are you okay?" That brought Sirius out of his thoughts, he hadn't realized he'd been clenching his fist until he felt his nails digging into his palms. "Oh… it's nothing Moony," the animagus muttered. Remus still looked worried, but Sirius ignored him.

They opened a door to an empty infirmary. Sitting on one of the beds, they sat in strained silence, looking anywhere but at each other. It wasn't as if either of them hadn't been here before, numerous times on both their parts, actually, but the room looked different in the morning light with no patients in the beds. With the bright morning sunlight slanting through one of the windows, the clean white sheets tucked into the beds, the scene was surprisingly peaceful, Remus even ended up yawning. Sirius reflected that Remus was probably more accustomed to the room than he was because he often had to visit to tend his wounds after the full moon…

Before either of their thoughts could continue Madam Pomfrey came in and said, "Well, what have you two done now?"

-----

A/N: Well, that took too long and I'm sorry I don't have all that much to show for it. School got the better of me. I know it's not very long, but I'm not used to writing long stories and I've never been very good at knowing how to divide up my chapters. Oh well, I hope this is okay and I'll post the next part as soon as a figure out what their going to say to Poppy… and get around to writing it down. Blergh, honors English is killing me… not really, just the memorizing what 22 words mean each week. Luckily I already know some of them sometimes.


	6. The Cure

The Cure

After a lengthy, more or less, coherent explanation of the situation, Madam Pomfrey sighed and said, "Well, that's not a very typical situation, then again I suppose I should expect the unexpected by now," she gave a stern look toward Sirius, "shouldn't you be getting to class, Mr. Black?"

Sirius merely stared right back at her, a stubborn set to his chin and gleam in his eyes. The medi-wizard merely sighed and said, "At least let me alone with Remus for a time, I'm going to have to ask some... personal questions."

Poppy had stopped trying to force Sirius to leave after the incident where he stuck his hands to the bedrail with a permanent sticking charm. That had upgraded her from one patient to two, one recovering from the full moon and the other re-growing the skin back on the palms of his hands—not an experience she'd like to repeat. After that, she'd merely discourage him, albeit, forcefully, but never invoking her full authoritative power. She knew Sirius knew of Remus's condition, especially since he started turning up after every full moon, or close to, and it was commonly agreed upon not to mention what they knew between each other. Pomfrey suspected the other two of their little gang also knew, but she didn't want to make any assumptions because they didn't turn up nearly as much as Black did. That is, of course, unless they were also nursing various hexed appendages from their latest scrap with someone who actually hexed back.

Sirius stared stubbornly on for a few moments before nodding his head. Pomfrey immediately swept up the effeminized werewolf and brought the poor lad (or perhaps it is better to say girl) into her office.

This left Sirius alone to himself, which is not always a good thing, but in this case it gave him time to calm down and think things through. Of course, right off he blamed Snivellus, but he needed to make sure (there had been enough times when he hadn't and had to answer to the less than pleasurable consequences.) It obviously wasn't any of the Marauders, James and Peter were too surprised, and Remus would _never_ do that to himself, and especially not act as if he hadn't. Remus wasn't really the type to joke around like that. There wasn't really anyone else other than Snape who would target Moony anyway, him being a prefect usually discouraged that, though it still seemed odd to Sirius why Snape _would_ target Remus in the first place. He thought about if for a while, a long while, and finally came to the conclusion that Snape probably had something against Remus and was… well, getting revenge. _Why Remus? Why not James or I?_ Sirius thought to himself.

"All right," Madam Pomfrey had just come back with Remus, "things don't look too bad, I'm pretty sure I know how to reverse the condition, and it should take about a week to brew up the potion needed."

"A _week_!" cried Sirius incredulously, Remus was nonplused and it crossed Sirius's mind that he had already been told this.

"I'm sorry dears, but there's really no getting around it. I told young Remus he should continue classes, since being a girl really won't effect his ability to learn."

"Oh… um… what caused his… er… condition?" asked Sirius, fumbling for words.

"Well, I don't know why you'd want to know that, but it was probably a potion," Poppy didn't notice the young man stopped listening, "Normally this spell would last about a month before wearing off, but a potion should fix up the situation soon enough."

Remus had noticed his friend's lack of attentiveness after she spoke of a potion as the cause, and he saw a familiar glint in his eye. Quickly sizing up the situation, Remus took Sirius by the arm and said, "Thanks so much, but we really have to get to breakfast now if we want to eat before classes, so goodbye," and with that Remus dragged Sirius out the door and left a rather confused Poppy Pomfrey behind.

- - -

A/N: once again, sorry about the lack of writing, not too much happens, and sorry about the time lapse. I've just gotten back into the mood for writing (seeing as I have no more English papers hanging over my head) and decided that I should at least get something up, instead of waiting even longer for more text. I hope this part is good.


	7. Note

Not quite and update, but a note. Yeah, I defiantly owe you guy's a chapter but I'm having a bit of a time writing it. What? Yeah, I've had time, I've got some of it. I'm in a point of lack of motivation. I would really like to write something good, even if I'm not trying all that hard. So I'm taking forever trying to figure out how to write what comes next. It's not that difficult, it shouldn't be as difficult as it seems to me sometimes, but I'm sorry I'm having troubles. I have some of the next chapter written, I just have to keep going on it.

I am so sorry.

I will do my best to continue, seven is on its way.

Selma

P.S. all of you tempted to tell me to shut of and quit because I'm lousy and suck, yeah, go join my pessimism in the trash can.


	8. The Disasterous Breakfast

The Disastrous Breakfast

"What did you do that for?" asked Sirius, a bit put-out be being dragged from the infirmary with haste and having his thoughts interrupted.

"So I could tell you, what ever you're thinking, the answer it no," replied Remus matter-of-factly.

"Aw, don't worry about it Moony," was Sirius's nonchalant answer.

"Yes, but that's what you said last time and you still got _two weeks_ of detention for it," said Remus sounding exasperated with his friend's frequent antics.

"But you have to admit, seeing Professor Klauburn scoot around on his bum like that was _very_ funny."

Remus still looked skeptical.

"And he had it coming to him."

"I wouldn't go so far as to say _that_," interjected Lupin.

"No, but that doesn't mean you couldn't _think_ it."

Sirius received no reply.

James sat with Peter at the Gryffindor table, trying to act as if nothing was slightly less then the usual fair, though perhaps they were trying a bit too hard from the stray eyes. Noisily eating his breakfast and discussing things more like morning birds than anything of great importance.

Peter, the listener, James the bard weaving the conversation that meant about as much as a parrot's mimic of human speech.

If anything, Peter was going to be very glad when all this was over.

As they came closer to the great hall, Sirius noted that Remus had dropped behind. Looking over his shoulder at his friend, Padfoot noted the look of apprehension on his friends face, for once . "Moony? Come on."

He turned back around intending to continue onward, but I light tug at he sleeve stopped him. Head bowed, Remus muttered, almost incoherently, "I don't wanna go in there...."

Sirius, showing more sense than usual, plopped an arm around Remus's shoulders and stated, in an overly off-handed manner, "You know, I think it's just one of those days that calls for breakfast in the kitchens."

Sirius could practically feel the relief washing off his friend as a physical force.

Right in the middle of a meaningless tirade about foggy refing in some obscure, professional quidditch match, James was stopped by a rather deliberate throat-clearing by an observer. Looking over at the origin of the noise, fist still raised in the middle of a gesticulation intended for a particularly important point, James still had a particularly stupid looking expression on his face: mouth wide open, eyes wide with shock.

The interloper was none other than Lilly Evans herself, who made her point simply by a sweep of the hand about the hall. James had collected himself quite an audience, almost the entire hall was looking in his direction. That much attention hadn't quite been his intention....

James shut up in record time.

Jennet, one of Lilly's friends and doormats, clasped her hands together and looked at James with gooey eyes, oozing over-concern, "Oh, _James_, is _something_ the _matter_?"

It was fairly well known at this point that Jennet had a big crush on James, since she pursued him shamelessly. Before she had had her eyes set on Sirius, but after that particular incident bore no fruit she turned her attentions to the next best thing: Sirius's best friend. She also refused to recognize James's own fixation upon Lily, believing she could win his heart.

For all her work, James ignored her once again and turned to Peter, knocking over a glass of juice in the process, which managed to spill all over Jennet. Immediately she hopped out of her chair and glared accusingly at James, "If you don't _like_ me why don't you just _say_ so! Now my robe is sopping wet!" and with that she stormed out of the hall.

Most people knew Jennet was only being dramatic to try and win sympathy, but there were still plenty of guy's glaring in James's direction. After all, Jennet was very pretty.

Letting out and exasperated sigh, James ruffled up his hair and turned to Wormtail, "Let's just, go... er... work on that homework assignment you still haven't got done, Peter."

"What? I don't—" began Peter, confused. However, he was quickly silenced by a kick from beneath the table, "Oh, right, _that_ homework...."

The pair got up, and as James passed Lily, he hear her remark, "Yeah, great way to act inconspicuous."

James looked around to see if anyone had heard her as well, but it didn't seem like anyone else was listening so he continued out of the great all. He'd only eaten half his breakfast.

Sorry about the delay, and the shortness of the chapter. I meant to have another scene with Remus and Sirius in the kitchen, but I have fall break this weekend and I wanted to make sure to get something up while I'm in the mood. I'm trying not to procrastinate, but sometimes I'm procrastinating for other work by writing this Oh well, some people never seem to learn (whoops, that's me). I'll try to be more timely with an update next time, thanks for reading my story


End file.
